WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT RELATIONSHIP: A true life story?
Hope you are not offended by my question? Are you
offended that I asked you what you know about relationship. ? I never bothered
to ask myself this question few months ago while I was very desperate to go
into relationship, yes the desperation was there and I was very much ready to
get that sting of being single out of the way.
Early this year while I was crossing over to 2018 precisely
night of 31st December 2017. I had few areas of my life I was
determined to settle some issues and get very significant step in life. I was
doing my service in calabar , cross river state, I had left Lagos for the
service and within that period , I had just four months left in my service and
meaning I needed to take five very significant decision before my P.O.P.
The first decision was whether or not I was going
to stay in calabar after service or go back to Lagos(I called this one settlement), the
second decision was what will I be doing in calabar should I want to stay(job
or Career), the third decision was where will I be staying. (do I continue in
NCCF family house as a senior friend or look for somewhere else to stay), the
next decision was my ministry, staying in family house to an extent affected my
conventional worship in the church where I was coming from, the duty was
demanding so I had to suspend some things (do I still go back or look for
alternative), then the relationship, do you continue to put your status single or
shift it to engaged like some folks I had around me
Five decision and I had just four months to decide
because it was certain that after April , I will no longer be a corper, I will
be an excorpee, I started praying , and
the whole thing was already conceived and I stated very serious intercession just
that 31st cross over night, I prayed and prayed and went back to
sleep.. As God will want it, my pop came and God got the ball rolling again. I
had a friend who was serving with me in my PPA. She was asking me so much
question and we were very close talking and talking, at a point she was disturb
concerning what life had for her after service, I told her my dear, there are
phases in your life that will not open until your current phase is closed,
meaning your next direction will open when once the current one elapses,
Therefore, it will be a waste of energy disturbing
yourself about the next direction, especially if you have this understanding, because
it has been ordained that the next level will only open when you are done with
the current level; you remembered that game you usually play. You do not leave
or jump to level four without completing level two and three, it will be closed
and not just closed but locked, but the moment you finish level two, the next
one opened on its own, that was how it happened, my pop was on 12th
April and after that I was offered a job by my PPA, with an accommodation, that
was three answer to three question in one.
In case you have forgotten, it means I have a job,
an accommodation and I am certain of staying in calabar, therefore the two remaining
decision was place of worship (ministry) and relationship, I had that one also
settles the moment I moved into my accommodation, leaving me with relationship
not yet settled, I was very desperate and very open to options around but
nothing seems to be coming out from it. I had very nice friends around me but
the was fear initiating relationship, at a moment I summon up courage and decided
to initiate a relationship. What I saw was very disappointing that I had to
drop everything.
It is pathetic that a lot of people in so called
relationship do not know what relationship is, what relationship is meant to
achieve. to some people, it is simply an arrangement to catch fun, an
arrangement where the guy has to be the one spending and buying some things for
the girl while the girl be the one serving the engine through sex, so the only
contribution a girl brings to relationship becomes sex ,
My younger brother is good at making me laugh when
I read his post on Facebook about ladies and relationship, I will laugh and say
even this small is also talking about relationship, not just taking about it
but making joke of everything about it, that is ignorant of what relationship is
meant to achieve, he makes relationship look more like a game and that was the
way I was also looking at relationship when I was observing most relationship.
But even as
much as I do not have very long and deep
practical experience of relationship but I was certain that it is definitely
not a game, I have had friends, acquaintances
and lovers whom I had to cut off because of their understanding, I remembered I
use to listen to love doctor very late at night in one radio station when I was
in Lagos , I remembered the handler or presenter pay say saying you do not enter
into a relationship without a purpose, infant if you ever call him on phone and
talk about relationship, the first question will be, what is your purpose and
what do you want to achieve, you dare not say that you have no purpose , or
mention a wrong purpose because he is going to lashed at you and rebuked you
very well.
Those days in Lagos, I will laugh while listening
to the presenter, while in calabar, I continued listening to relationship
program very late at night with fad FM and just the same message, you do not
enter into a relationship without a purpose. And infant without knowing what relationship
is .and what you want to achieve through it. You have to know what relationship
is, what you want to achieve before you embark on it. You do not embark on it
because your friend is doing it, you do not embark on it because someone is mounting
pressure on you or because you feel like not being left behind, there should be
a purpose to it.
And when the purpose of a thing is not known, then
abuse is inevitable, you are not to enter into a relationship without the knowledge
of what relationship is. Otherwise you are in darkness, yes you are in darkness,
darkness does not connote the physical absence of light only but ignorance,
yes, darkness is ignorant, an ignorant person is in darkness, and the only tool
for your liberation and freedom is light, in this case the light that will give
and grant you freedom lies in knowledge that you have receive, yes. It is the truth
you know about relationship that will guide you and lead you out of darkness,
out of bondage and grant you true liberty
Then having said that, back to my question, what
do you know about relationship? Who is your teacher and what is he or she teaching
you about relationship, what is he or she asking you to do or not to do, hope your
teacher is qualified and licensed to teach otherwise you have failed, because
who your teacher is matters and determines the nature and kind of information
you will receive, most information we get are very deficient and ineffective to
deliver the main purpose why there are giving, information are meant to
enlighten you and grant you knowledge ,information is meant to safe guide but a
lot of people are being destroyed and deformed by the same information that
they are getting,
Simply because they are getting it from the wrongs
person. Maybe your teacher is not qualified. Maybe he or she is not trained properly,
maybe he or she is still under tutelage and already claiming so much knowledge.
Maybe she is not operating in her area of specialization, infant hope your teacher
in relationship in not even your boyfriend or girlfriend, hope it is not
someone your junior and not even experienced in it, hope your teacher is not
canal and so much focused on the physical, because you are going to fail at the
end.
What therefore is relationship? .I will explain
relationship using two words. RELATE & SHIP.
To relate is to co-operate with someone, it means
to join yourself with another person, on a certain mission or assignment, when someone
is asking you to cooperate with him, it means there is an action or an assignment
about to begin or that need to be undertaking. And therefore the success of
that action or project will be determined in the level of support or co-operation
from patties involved, It takes two or more parties to relate,
What about ship. A ship is a machine used in transportation
more especially at sea or ocean that enables you to covey goods or people from
one place to another place, it carries people and goods and help move them from their present location to another location, preferably from being single to married and togetherness
Therefore Relationship is an arrangement through
which two or more consenting people with adequate knowledge of what they are embarking
into decide to be taken or moved from a certain point in life to another point in
life, it is an avenue through which two people are carried on mutual consent to
a predetermined destination, it is a mutual agreement built on understanding of
what parties involve want and wish to achieve.
it therefore means that before you initiate and begin
a relationship, you should have a destination, you should discover if the other
party have the same destination in mind also for himself, you should also discover
if the other party is willing to make a move at the same point when you will
want to move, or he or she has another booked already, were it is certain, the
two of you should enter this ship and be carried to the next destination base
on consent, and not compulsion. You should know what you want and what you do not
want. The same is applicable with the other person, it should be identified
before the journey start.
To be continued,
Comments
Post a Comment